Plonkers at Work – suffering the anally retentive at work!

Plonkers at Work – suffering the anally retentive at work!

International Society for the Anally Retentive at Work (ISARW)

International Society for the Anally Retentive at Work (ISARW)

What do you think… eh. Why restrict this to the UK and Ireland. Why not expand and broaden the reach of this important work?

A new, vibrant, exciting and worthwhile International Organisation could take shape. One that would enrich the lives of the millions of oppressed workers around the world.

Each country could have its TOP 10 Plonkers to work for.  We could even have a WORLD TOP 10 Plonkers to work for…

A great idea or what.

 Now remember… no names of individuals or company names. Lets keep it safe and clean (i.e. you dont want to lose your job, yet) Show your support.

Yes… they do exist. Plonkers blight every workplace!!!

PLONKER - noun [C] UK INFORMAL
a foolish or stupid person:
What did you do that for, you plonker?

Contempt… thats the name of this theme for my WordPress blog. Quite fitting in actual fact, given the nature of this blog.

As you have probably guessed this blog is about my job, moreso about my colleagues at work who I can only refer to as plonkers… anally retentive plonkers. The reason I have started this blog is to get my anger, annoyance and frustration at these petty, mealy mouthed, shortsighted “people” (I decided to keep the language clean – dont want to get banned so early in my blogging career) whom I suffer everyday.

Rather than just moan and whinge about my colleagues I’ve decided to add a theme to this blog. To make it more interesting, to draw you (the reader) into the character and mindset of those people I suffer everyday in my endeavour to help my fellow man (and woman). OK… so thats not really true. I really am only there for the paycheck UNTIL a) I find a better job or b) become self-employed or c) win the lottery.

Now just what do I mean by anally retentive… hmmm. Well, let me think now… I’ll have to give you an example that wont be traced back to me… just in case it require (God help us all ) a MEETING – aaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!

Yes, my job has it all.

Bicycle Man: The eco-friendly dipstick who seems to have lost touch with the real world (if he ever was in touch with it that is) and lives in a land of recycling, arriving on time for meetings and worrining about fiscal rectitude (ie if you take a sheet of paper out of the envelope you could save postage charges…. hmmm).

Bussybody woman: Always busy, and prepared to let everybody know about it. The matronally nun type woman. Always barking orders. Unaware how nasty her tone is. Talking to people like they were children or idiots. Busy being busy at being busy. Always willing to poke her nose in at every opportunity. Happy to criticise, but not happy to have it pitched back at her. In charge of things she knows nothing about but does not make a fuss about her lack of knowledge the way she would for other people. Lacks originality…

These are just two of the anally retentive I suffer at work every day – God help me.

Its All True. 

I hope this is interesting and I will update with stories and tales of the daily grind – all true, belive me I couldn’t make this $%*& up even if I tried. Ok, it is my point of view and as such somewhat subjective – but we all do that, right? I’ll layout the events and you decide for yourself.

Please feel free to vote on the biggest plonker, the stupidest comment, response or idea – hey, you could even award Plonker Points for every silly, stupid and anally retentive thing they do and say.

Plonker Prize

Hey, I just had a brilliant idea. At the end of the year I could give a prize to the most anally retentive plonker, a sort of a ‘thank you’ present for all their hard work and effort in being a complete and utter plonker. The grand prize can be a stainless steel butt plug – to help with the anal retention. Being stainless steel it would be nice and cold to strart with and heat up during the day. It would be easy to clean and would not erode! I could even have the name inscribed on it… sort of like a plaque! Hey… this just gets better and better.

 If anybody would like to sponsor the prize (i.e. give me a new (not used) butt plug) it would be more than welcome. Alternately if you have any ideas for other prizes (only cheap, tacky and offensive ideas please) post them her.

 In closing my first post I would like to say it has been fun – Yes, it has been fun, and an outlet for my ‘going postal’ attitude.

If you liked it… let me know. More will be posted soon.